妈妈,请别再谈什么“牺牲”!
发布时间:2014-10-20 来源:
<P><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3f3f3f; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA'>  </SPAN><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: black; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA'>母亲之于家庭的付出是无可置疑的,从组成一个家庭到养儿育女,她们付出的时间与心血令人折服!可这所有的一切却都不能用“牺牲”来形容,因为“牺牲”本就代表了消极,而母亲的付出却是温暖积极的!从说出“牺牲”就会想得到“弥补”,可着所有的一切都用不到“弥补”,因为这是一种“选择”!</SPAN><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: black; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA'></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  昨晚收到一封妈妈的邮件,事例充分文字感人,讲述了自己为孩子为家庭所付出的一切,但是孩子不听话丈夫不回家。“我为他们付出这么多,牺牲了我的青春,我的事业,甚至于我的自尊。看了《超级育儿师》,您每次都在鼓励妈妈们寻找自我释放压抑情绪,我就在想我的这些牺牲都值得吗?我应该过自己的生活,而不是一味的为别人牺牲我是不是很冤枉?”</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><?xml:namespace prefix = "o" ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  坦白说,在我看来,世界上并无所谓的牺牲。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  每一种付出都是自己的一种选择。这种选择来自于个体的思考或权衡后的一种结论。当你的付出没有获得你所预期的回报时,你才会说“牺牲”。也就是说,在你最初做决定的时候,是在对结果的预期上所做的决定。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  在我们在工作和家庭之间权衡时,我们选择了家庭,那一定是因为家庭在你心中的重要性超过工作。所以,你不是为了家庭而牺牲工作,而是本来工作在你心中就没有家庭重要。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  女性在回归家庭时肯定也对全新的生活状态充满了期待,想象自己可以有大把的时间放松玩耍,可以享受被呵护的感受,能够和孩子渡过欢乐时光。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  男性在投入事业时也对自己能大展宏图充满希望,想象自己在社会上叱刹风云,也自然评估过陪伴孩子少的因素。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  我们在什么情况下会谈“牺牲”呢?第一种是结果和自己预期的一致,此时自己多年的付出已经得到回报。于是可以大谈自己“牺牲”的时间和所做的努力,此时是一种另外方式表达的骄傲或表功。第二种是结果没有达到自己的期待,回报无望而心中难以平复,此时的表达方式是一种“抱怨”,甚至是推卸责任的借口。不是我做的不够好,而是我够伟大,牺牲了那么多。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-no-proof: yes'><?xml:namespace prefix = "v" ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" /><v:shapetype id=_x0000_t75 stroked="f" filled="f" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" coordsize="21600,21600"><v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke><v:formulas><v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f></v:formulas><v:path o:connecttype="rect" gradientshapeok="t" o:extrusionok="f"></v:path><o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></o:lock></v:shapetype><v:shape id=图片_x0020_2 style="HEIGHT: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 0.75pt; VISIBILITY: visible; mso-wrap-style: square" alt="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz/ByCS3p9sHianTpT5NjcxRyqOdPZ49QtN2F4lUOibezlT1JzzjDCtAtDynZuPTXzEm8XReKPy6HQCk/0" type="#_x0000_t75" o:spid="_x0000_i1025"><v:imagedata o:title="0" src="file:///C:\Users\czz\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.gif"></v:imagedata></v:shape></SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  所谓付出,是每个人的决定,在选择的那一刻已经在心里权衡过失去什么,获得什么;</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  在你“付出”的同时也就开始收获,当你付出的时候,已经有所企图。这种企图可能是金钱、情感需求或者是价值认可。父母对孩子的付出,有情感需求或价值认可的企图;个人对社会的付出,也有自我价值的需求。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  当这种企图不是能用金钱或实际数字来衡量的时候,也许会被人忽略或不被提及。特别是所付出的的价值并不能完全用金钱来衡量,或者等同于部分金钱时,大家会认为她“吃亏”了,或者自己也会这样认同。但实际上自我价值的认可和情感价值早就超过了金钱所付出的内容。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  每个人的付出都不是牺牲,而是一种自己的选择。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  但我们每个人首先要清楚为什么要这样选择,是什么原因让自己做出了这样的决定,但更重要决定之后,我们都做了什么。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  父母不能说由于自己教育方式不对,没有达到预期,就反之来谈自己的付出,这只是一种回避问题的方式;夫妻不能因为关系破裂,就互相痛诉各自的付出,这只是一种推卸责任的借口。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  我们不能因为自己付出了很多就趾高气扬,因为那本来就是自己心甘情愿的选择,所谓抱怨,是没有执行到位而选择一种表达和推卸责任的方式。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  回到主题,这位妈妈,或者是很多认为自己是为了家庭而放弃工作和属于自己时间的妈妈们。原谅我的坦白,你并不是因为别人而放弃的,你的选择完全出于你自己内心的需求。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  而引发我们的不满和抱怨的实际上回报并非你想象,可能孩子给你带来困扰,可能先生没有给到你足够的帮助。而这一切,并不是你选择的问题,而是执行的问题。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  当我们深陷于“公平与否”的话题,就会让自己更难获得进步,而成为所谓的怨妇。需要思考付出的过程是否正确,而不要用“牺牲”来抱怨。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  其实,你抱怨的只是自己的无能。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>  找办法解决问题,切莫谈牺牲。因为那本来就不是牺牲,再谈就是矫情。</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-pagination: widow-orphan"><SPAN style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "KaiTi_GB2312","serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: KaiTi_GB2312; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica'>(作者:兰海)</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style='FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; COLOR: #3e3e3e; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt'><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 150%"><SPAN lang=EN-US><o:p><FONT face=Calibri>&nbsp;</FONT></o:p></SPAN></P> <P></SPAN>&nbsp;</P>
分享到:
相关信息